Wednesday, January 07, 2009
by
Cindy Droog
After spending more and more time with young boys these days, I believe it's time for a change. Time for North America to take a closer look at some of the behaviors we restrict in public and make them socially acceptable. After all, we do them at home. Here is my list so far: 1. The Bib - Not Just for Lobster Anymore
Who's with me? Who else out there has started to get dressed for work in the morning, only to say to themselves, "I can't wear this crisp, white shirt. I have a lunch meeting today." Who else keeps their old black blazer hanging in the office "just in case" of total food-stain embarrassment?
Let's stop the madness. Let's embrace our instinctual eating habits like Randy in the Christmas Story when he "shows mommy how the piggies eat!" Let us let the ketchup fly! Imagine if we were able to wear bibs at every meal how much money we would save on dry cleaning bills, stain lifters and new clothes? Not to mention the Earth-saving benefits of fewer weekly washloads.
2. The Toot
We own a cabin with another couple, who also have small children in the family. It's become our inside joke that whenever someone releases a gastrointestinal bubble, we say, "Hey, is there a duck in here?" to which everyone responds with a few seconds of laughter before proceeding with their activities.
Again, let's look at this from the time-saving perspective. Rather than shrinking in your seat with embarrassment in meetings or restaurants, if you are guilty, relax. We could all share a laugh and a fine stress-relieving moment before getting back to the task at hand.
3. The "Arnold Jackson" Look
My youngest son responds to my baby babble with what I consider the classic, "What'choo talkin' ‘bout Willis?" look made famous by Gary Coleman with his Arnold Jackson character in Diff'rent Strokes days. I find it hilariously refreshing. Now, consider how much more would get done if we could simply give a person that look with absolutely no negative consequence?
Picture yourself in a meeting. You're given an assignment that absolutely could not be done in the format or timeframe given, with the results desired, even if you were Superman. Rather than taking the time to think through your response - phrasing it in a perfectly politically correct way - you could just give "the look."
It would be recognized by all that when given "the look," you must immediately reconsider all comments or requests and come back with something more reasonable, doable and important to say. I'll start working on the Arnold Jackson E-mail Emoticon as soon as I'm done with this post.
4. And Finally, The Afternoon Nap
Need I say more?
Readers - Please post additional ideas for what else should be made socially acceptable here. I'm going send the list to Martha Stewart's producers, so she can give them the "Arnold Jackson Look" when they suggest it for a show segment.