I Was Never Much Good at Good-Bye
Wednesday, August 27, 2008  by Cindy Droog

I haven't quoted any singers lately on this blog, so I thought I'd title my post after an 80's tune by Night Ranger that I still sometimes belt out while driving. (Yes, I am cheesy, but I accepted that fact long, long ago!)

 

This Saturday, I say good-bye to a dear friend. I'm returning to my alma mater, Ohio University, to spread the ashes of Christopher Bobo, a very close friend of mine who died in February.

 

When it comes to kids, health, and life in general, I believe with all of my heart and soul that strong friendships keep us grounded, smiling, less stressed, and therefore, more healthy. I hope that both of my boys are lucky enough in their lifetimes to have have a friend like I had in Chris. This post is dedicated to him.

 

I met Chris 16 years ago. He was simply walking down the street, and my roommate and I were carrying a giant rug from a store to our dorm room. She was 6’ tall. I was 4’10.” Since we were both journalism majors – “word people” if you will – I don’t think we even considered that carrying this rug home downhill was an engineering impossibility.

 

 

     Many onlookers glanced at our moving Leaning Tower of Pisa, but moved on. Finally, one stranger stopped to help. That was Chris. During the half-mile journey back to our dorm, we became fast friends. More like family, in fact.

 

     I look at my boys, and I know that Chris had many qualities I hope to instill in them. He was nonjudgmental. He didn’t care that I had to work at the student cafeteria to make ends meet. Instead, he bet me $20 that I wouldn’t wear my hairnet to class, and when I did, he paid up. (I didn't weigh enough to give plasma, so I had to make money somehow!)  

     He was kind and loved helping others. I would have failed geology if not for him. He was hilarious. At one makeshift Thanksgiving dinner, as we all sat around the table in his apartment and said what we were thankful for, his reply was “miniskirts.”

 

Earlier this year, Chris lost the greatest battle of his life, his ongoing struggle with depression. Chris took his own life, and with it, a huge part of me and our small, close-knit group of college friends.

 

So this Saturday, just say a little prayer for me. It's going to be one of the hardest days of my life.

 

Still, I will always have Chris to judge my own sons' friends by. I will remind them to look for friends just like Chris: Nonjudgmental. Kind. Helpful. Hilarious. If they find just one friend like that, it will be worth any sorrow they may go through if and when they lose that friend. 


Comments

# Chaitanya said on August 30, 2008 12:18 PM:

yes Cindy,

We do need a lot of nonjudgmental friends.

But shouldn't our parents and society be Nonjudgmental too?

Always, at every point in my life up until now (I'm 30 yrs old) I have been judged, compared and forced to live up to the 'expectations'!

And I believe I'm not alone - and it's not just the parents any longer, society as a whole too is judgmental!

We all know people like Chris - but it's so sad that he let himself perish under such pressure!

I only wish that Chris somehow fought that battle a little longer!

Thank you.

 

 

# bridget said on September 1, 2008 8:05 PM:

Cindy I pray you found that strength and saw the beauty and love in your sojourn for Chris.  And I agree with you 200% that it is the friends we make and keep that help us remember who we are, where we came from and what we aspire to be in life.  I consider you one of those!  

# Kim Findley said on September 4, 2008 3:18 PM:
Thinking of you my friend. I thought of Chris this weekend, actually. It was the Taste of Cleveland and I remembered when you,Tom, me, Todd and Chris went a few years ago. Chris and I became fast buddies because of Todd and I not being able to stand eachother! (of course, Todd and I did become friends, after several outings with you) Anyways, I hope that you found strength to get through this past weekend and know that our amazing friends do make us who we are.
# Cindy Droog said on September 5, 2008 8:44 AM:

Editor's Comment: Chris was very fast to make friends, and very loyal to them for life once he did make them. He really loved you and asked about you all the time. The memorial service we held was small, and his sister Emily spread the ashes on College Green. I documented the entire weekend in essay and photography and will be sending it (via email) on to those who loved Chris. Look for it soon.

Leave a Comment

(required) 
(required) 
(optional)
(required - not displayed)  
 
Submit

Subscribe to updates

  • About
  • This blog is written by various Moms at Amway Global. -More

    Disclaimer

    Search

    Archives

    Post Categories

    Opportunity Zone